Anyway, back to me. I have been really, really busy. I really
have! (Enough gravitas there with the use of italics? I think so! You must believe me now.) And this isn’t the
type of busy that involves my usual antics. Oh no! I’ve had to put going to
Snobs and drinking myself to oblivion and terrorising people in wheelchairs
(sounds far worse than it was!) on hold and started acting a little bit more
like the grown up that I claim to be. Life has been pretty mundane, and that
just doesn’t make for good blogging! That’s a cue for my more dedicated readers
to take me out and get me drunk. No?
But now it’s time to get all serious, so take a deep breath,
sit up straight and listen carefully. In these last three months, other than
being really, really busy, I’ve been
doing some writing of a different kind; I’ve been working on my Masters’
dissertation. Yes that’s right, someone who has participated in a game of nakedspin the bottle can actually do something that isn’t inherently depraved.
So in response to the burning question of where I have been
these past few months, that’s your answer; I’ve been working on my Masters, in
education nonetheless! I iz rite clever innit bled? I’ve been spending my time
writing about qualitative and quantitative research, (and writing reams about
it although I still don’t actually really
understand what either of them is and how my research is indicative of either
of them.) I’ve read 37 (yes 37!) different articles about motivating students,
which is ironic as I had a proper rant the other day at one who told me he was
just too tired to open his book or write the title and date. So much for the
old saying you should practice what you preach. Obviously none
of those preachers has come across an adolescent Brummie of the male variety,
something similar to a primitive human if you can imagine, in which case the
saying would have become any which way
you can or something equally non-committal. I even have a favourite critic!
I know! I should surely be out rediscovering my favourite bar, or sexual
position, or something equally debauched, but no, I’ve been acquainting myself
with the glitterati of educational literature and, more worryingly, actually
liking it! In response to my recent Facebook status about a newly discovered
article by said favourite critic, instead of getting the piss ripped out of me
as should have quite rightly happened, the response I had was from a rather
worried friend from my Masters course questioning if she was doing enough work
as she didn’t have a ‘favourite critic’. What has happened to us all?
All of this has resulted in the production of 11,000 words
of a very dubious quality, and some parts that are pure and simple fabrication,
jazzed up by the thesaurus function of [shift][F7]. Honestly, use a synonym
correctly and you can bamboozle anyone into accepting the belief that you’re
actually quite astute. Nonetheless, in combination with a full time job, this has
meant that the good old blog has become a bit neglected and that makes me a
little bit sad, because I like to think of this as a form of literary karma
where I can balance out all the boring clever stuff that I manage to write whilst
demonstrating that I’m still my usual dysfunctional self.
Before I go I shall end on this little snapshot of my life,
to remind all of you out there that I’m still the fool you know and love.
I was recently given an electric toothbrush (no, it’s not
going in that direction before you ask! Rude, much?) and as I was preparing to
put the loaded brush into my mouth, I ignored the first rule of electric
toothbrushing: do not turn on until toothbrush is in your mouth. Before I could
even register what had happened, the blob of tooth paste had rocketed from the
head of buzzing brush into my right eye ball, where I don’t think the
gentle-foaming-sensitive-whitening formula could really achieve its full
potential.
So that proves that even under the guise of 11,000 synonyms,
I’m still a bit of an idiot, I’m still me, and I’m still here.
